Running Erinn's
by SubrosianDimitri
Summary: A series of one-shots set in the Quester's Rest from IX and the various characters from across the series that show up.
1. The Man Without a Title

**Chapter 1: **The Man Without a Title

It was just an average night at the Quester's Rest, well it was average by the inn's standards, but it was still pretty bizarre. The shop had already closed, Sellma and Ginny had already gone home for the night, only the bar and the check-in were open at this point, even then most of the patrons had gone to their rooms for the night.

Erinn was stuck tending to the only person still at the bar, mainly because Patty was in the back doing something else. She wasn't entirely sure who this man was or where he came from, he was blue plate armor with a blue horned helmet. He had been at the bar for a few hours, and he probably had more alcohol in his system than a barrel of Drunken Dragon.

"Bartender," he hiccuped, "Another round."

"Sir, do you think you've had enough?" Erinn asked. "You look like you just fought a dragon."

"H-How'd you know…_*hic*_? I had to take out this _*hic*_ this wizard…" he said with a slurred voice. "Then he sicced his _*hic*_ pet dragon on me…_*hic*_… or did he turn into it?"

"As I asked before," Erinn asked (this man was clearly crazy), "Don't you think you've had enough? The bar is closing soon."

"I'll tell you when I've had enough…_*hic*_," the man uttered, "when I rule half the world…_*hic*_"

"Can I at least offer you a glass of water to help you…"

"Ah! Nooooo!" he screamed before Erinn could finish , "you can't cross it, you can't… can't…" And with that he passed out leaning on the table.

She never found out who he was or where he came from.

* * *

Proofread and Edited by my brother (Gamermaster42)


	2. The Invisible Woman

**Chapter 2: **The Invisible Woman

Erinn wondered something about Ara ever since he helped her restore the Quester's Rest to its former glory. For some reason, he would come by every once in a while, walk over to that empty spot on the front desk, and start talking to thin air. She wanted to know why he talked to the air in that spot, or if he was talking to some invisible person only he could see. Sometimes he'd blow some whistle and just disappear. Erinn wanted to ask him about it, but she felt it would be an incredibly rude invasion of privacy.

"Maybe I should put something there to make it seem less weird to the other guests," Erinn thought to herself. "No, that'd be just as rude as asking him who he's talking to, I've asked enough favors of him already."

Erinn was lost in her thoughts, so lost in fact that she didn't notice Ara standing right in front of her, trying to get her attention.

"You look like you're in need of help Erinn," Ara said with a kind voice, "what's bothering you?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," Erinn said, trying not to ask him for a favor (Ara was FAR too nice for his own good), "do you need anything?"

"No, I'm just wondering what's bothering you, if there's nothing wrong, I guess I'll just head off for now, farewell Erinn."

She never could muster up the courage to ask her question.

* * *

Notes: I chose Ara (altar) for the Hero's name, mainly because there weren't any good bird constellation names left.

Proofread once again by Gamermaster42


	3. The Flirtslayer

**Chapter 3: **The Flirtslayer

The guests Erinn usually got were human, around 99.9% of the time, but today was that other .1%. Some tall guy with a spiked bone shouldered and a snake-handled sword was checking in, and he was clearly not human.

"Hello, I'd like to get a room for two," the man began, "just file me as Psaro the Manslayer." Just hearing the name made Erinn fell a little, oh what's it called…oh yeah, _SCARED SLIMELESS!?_

"Uh…sure," Erinn said with an unsure voice and trying not to make eye contact with Psaro, "I'll go get your room sorted out for you, it should be around 3 minutes…if you want you can, um, enjoy some drinks at the bar while we get your room ready." With that Erinn went upstairs to get the room ready.

About six minutes later, Psaro was having a drink at the bar, which was all fine and dandy, until some patrons who had one drink too many decided to come over.

"Hey babe _*hic*_," the drunk men said to an elf sitting next to Psaro, "How'd you like to see my _*hic*_ prime slime?"

Psaro caught on immediately and drew his blade partially from its sheath. "If you lay a finger on Rose, I'll slash you into ribbons!"

"Oh…_*hic*_…come on buddy," the drunkards slurred insultingly, "you're probably compensating with that big sword of yours."

"AARGH, LET ME AT HIM, I'LL RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND FORCE FEED IT TO HIS COMPATRIOTS!" Psaro was screaming and flailing his arms about, but he was being restrained by some girl who nobody noticed was there before.

"Psaro, is not good to kill others," she said with a thick accent, "this is bar, not arena!"

"Thanks Alena," Rose said to the girl, "I figured this would happen, so it's a good thing I asked for your help.

"Do not mention it," Alena said, raising her fist over Psaro's head. "Just give me minute to, how you say, knock him out." Alena brought her fist down on Psaro's head, knocking him unconscious.

Erinn just stood there, wondering if she should be more afraid of the guy calling himself the Manslayer, or the girl who just subdued him in a single punch.


	4. Sleep Kills Bugs Dead

**Chapter 4:** Sleep Kills Bugs Dead

The inn wasn't very busy that day. Erinn had gotten maybe 4 guests, a couple of drinkers (because her inn seemed to attract those), and Ara came in to do his usual thing. It wasn't a quiet day, it never is when the bar is anywhere above half full. Everyone was talking about grottoes or what they thought of the more feminine inn staff.

Then, with no warning, the ground shook with a loud crash. The inn suddenly fell silent as a large bug-like monster holding scimitars walked in. His every step caused the room to shake, Erinn thought this monster was going to smash the building up. Instead of causing mass death, despair and property damage, he just walked up to the counter and stood there.

"M-M-May I help you s-sir?" Erinn proceeded to ask with a panicky voice.

"Uh…I don't know," the monster said with a slow, sleepy voice, "What am I doing here again?"

Erinn was confused, but she still felt nothing but fear. "D-Do you n-need a r-r-room?" Erinn asked to the demon.

"I'm not sure," he said, "I just woke up, and…uh…I forget." With that, he walked out the door.

"Wait… why is the door still intact?" was all Erinn could think of.

* * *

Notes: Once again, credit to Gamermaster42 for proofreading.

I really need to branch away from Dragon Quest 4 and 9 chars only


	5. The Sale of POTATOES

Erinn would get the occasional salesman at most once every couple of weeks. Usually they'd try to sell her newer chairs or tables for her inn, but one look at the goods showed they were either low quality, scams or both. She wasn't surprised when someone who looked like another salesman walked in, she just got ready and prepared to brush off whatever lame product he was going to try to sell.

"Hello ma'am," he began, "I'd like to talk to you about POTATOES."

"Uh, we get all of our produce from a local farm," Erinn said with utter apathy.

"No no no, you misunderstand," he said pulling a card out of his shirt, "I'm a representative of the People Opposing The Aggressive Treatment Of Equitable Slimes, I'm not a spud salesman."

"And what exactly does your organization want with my inn?" Erinn asked with a small amount of interest.

"Well," he began, "because your inn is so popular and well known, we feel if you were a sponsor for us our word could be spread much more efficiently and with more impact on the public."

Erinn wasn't sure of what to do, she was used to con men and shoddy product salesmen, but she never dealt with sponsorship requests.

"Could you please tell me what expenses this could cause for my inn?" Erinn asked with a bit of nervousness.

"Depending on the reception, either you'll gain money and customers, or your business will take a mild hit to its income."

Erinn wasn't sure if it was a good idea, she didn't want to do something that would ruin the inn again and drive the business into a deep recession, especially since she had worked so hard to restore it.

"You know what," she began, "I'll think about it, could you come back some other time?"

The man looked understanding, but clearly showed signs of reluctance to leave. Erinn wasn't going to deal with him, just one annoyed look and the man rushed to the door.

"I really hope he doesn't come back." Erinn sighed.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, it took a while, but I finally made chapter 5. This time we deal with something my brother came up with, people who were against killing and poor treatment of intelligent slimes.

A lot less humor in this one, but there's always time for more in later chapters.

As always reviews are greatly appreciated.


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